Look at the title of this post. Are you noticing a pattern? Ha. If it hasn't hit you yet, I write/think a lot about having control or who's IN control or having no control in our lives. Mostly because in my profession, I always feel everything is slightly out of my hands. I wonder what in fact I CAN alter. What are MY choices. What does God want me to do?
I learned a valuable lesson over the weekend. The best way to get a good grip on what life is all about starts with who you are.
I was in Dallas, TX for David's birthday. I wanted the whole weekend to be about him. I wanted out of my own head, out of my own life, but the one I have with him. His wonderful family and a friend helped throw a party for him and we had many other family/friend get-togethers throughout the 72 hour getaway. I'll admit, even though it was HIS birthday weekend, sometimes it was difficult for BOTH of us to let him have full rein. ;) If felt exhilarating to start focusing less on me and more on others and what I can do to make them happy. I've always felt that after I get my own life the way I want it, after I "fix" me, I can make everyone else happy in return. I can provide for them. I can REALLY be there for them. But waiting until tomorrow might be too late.
I need to be the woman God made me to be right NOW. I need to be the woman my family, friends, church and community need me to be. Even if I'm not everything I thought I'd be by this time in my life, I can have the kind of attitude and outlook that says, "I have it all and I want to share it all with you."
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