Wednesday Walk: Something Greater

Nuff said.

Big Heart Breaking

Are you the kind of person who practices patience maybe a little too much? The type of person who has a hard time saying No? Do you feel people take advantage of you because they know you'll always be there? Do you feel walked all over? Do you feel like you're never given a break? You must be tired. I'm sure you have a warm and genuine smile on your face, but you really must be tired of constantly doing for others and waiting for "your turn". Your BIG heart that you constantly give to others might be slowly breaking.

I have felt that way many times in my life... I went through a tough and awkward rebellion period because of it. What I know now is that God will always fight for me. I don't need to become hard and cold in order for people to make me a priority and make me feel important.

                 -- BUT!

You can break down and become angry... It's OK.

You can speak up for yourself... You're WORTH IT.

You can still be the person people love, adore and can rely on... That's who YOU ARE.

You can set boundaries... You deserve RESPECT.

If you set comfortable boundaries and rely on God to do the rest, people will start to treat you exactly the way you deserve to be treated. I'm still learning every day. I still have a hard time saying no and asking for things I deserve, but I'm getting better. God is showing me more and more that He's got the rest covered. He has my back. He's making my life wonderful because I'm giving it TO HIM. I promise if you slowly start to do the same, you'll see the amazing changes I am seeing in my own life.

For My Mom

The impossible love. That is what a mother should have for her children. My Mom is no different. Actually, yes she is. She's a lioness. No one messes with my brother and me.

As we get older it gets harder and harder to figure out what to do for our Mom for Mother's Day. What do you do for the greatest woman you know? What do you do for the person that has been your constant rock for 20+ years??

Here's one of my gifts to my Mother...

---
 If - a Mother's Day poem for my Mom, Kim - 5/12/12

If my Mother never was mine
My stars would surely refuse to shine
For all my days and all of my nights
I'd never know a true woman's design

If my Mother never had her heart
Surely we all would have fallen apart
But her love grows more when times get hard
She's taught us its never too late to start

If my Mother would have given up
When teenage years got a little tough
Who knows who my brother and I would be
Instead of warriors who always have enough

If my Mother could be one thing more
I'd ask her only to please explore
A way to teach give me the answers for
The key to being like the Mom I adore

                            - Lindsey Hager

My New Playlist

Sharing good music is what makes MY world go 'round. Please feel free to share with me what you are listening to these days and why.

My late spring/pre summer mix 2012:

1. Fine By Me - Andy Grammer - I'm a little obsessed with this tune.
2. Haven't Had Enough - Marianas Trench - Catchy, catchy, catchy.
3. Wild Ones - Flo Rida ft Sia - Can't stop singing it. In the car, the shower, at work, in mid conversation.
4. Ours - Taylor Swift - You can love her or try to hate her, but she's good. She pulls at my heart strings.
5. Every Song I Sing - Chase Rice - Just... please... listen to this one. My goodness. Great writing.
6. Starry Eyed - Ellie Goulding - Loving her NOW, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I used to not be a huge fan. Her unique voice threw me off. Now I LOVE her. Love her originality. She's brilliant.
7. Big Bang - Charity Daw - This girl should be a super star. Just do me a favor and google her or look her up on facebook. She's a doll. This song makes me want to get up and move.
8. Who I Am With You - Lauren Briant - Another beauty on my list. This song is simply so romantic and real.
9. She Rides Away - David Nail - I've always loved his voice. Pretty much anything he sings I will listen to and thoroughly enjoy. This one just sticks with me.
10. A** Back Home - Gym Class Heroes ft Neon Hitch - Another one I just can't stop singing. Ever. In every kind of silly voice imaginable.
11. This Little Girl - Cady Groves - I have the short/little girl complex, but I'm tough (or I think I am anyway). This song is for me.
12. Good Morning - Norah Jones - I love listening to this song when I first get in my car to run errands in the morning. Keeps me calm and gets me ready for the day.

Wednesday Walk: Ok Fine... Here's Your "Sign"

God is pretty humorous. He has been to me lately anyway. I think it's because He knows I need it and I've been trying to pay close attention to Him. Almost trying to catch His signals and wisdom before He even intends to give them to me.

I've been having crazy dreams at night. In each dream I have a different career. I'm playing different roles in my life. And what's funny is although I'll still have to work my booty off to make any of them happen, they are all realistic. Nothing crazy like I'm a super hero or anything. I'm writing a book... I'm designing a clothing line (I swear He told me what the fall colors are going to be this season)... I'm co-owning Jane's Daughters with my Mom and we are having to hire staff... I'm writing hit songs.

I wake up. I write it all down. I breathe in. I breathe out. I'm trying to take it all as a compliment that God is trying to tell me that he gave me many gifts and I can utilize them all. Maybe I NEED to utilize them all. His humble humor comes into play because I've been begging Him for this. I said the other week, "Lord, I know I'm not dumb, but if you could... PLEASE just tell me what you want me to do and make it clear. Show me in some way I can understand and I will follow through." He knows I'm a visual learner. He knows I'll believe in my actual dreams before a clear sign in the daytime here on earth. It just makes me giggle.

I love that we're growing closer and closer. I can feel it. I can feel a REAL relationship with God. He's not just a higher power that I believe in anymore, He's my Father. He's my friend. He's my confidant. My companion. To the point that I almost forget He has it all and I want to ask him, "God, is there anything I can do for you? Are you in need of anything? I want to return the favor."

Birthday Boy Project - An Act of Love

I knew I wanted to make something personal for David for his birthday. Something unique. I searched all over pinterest for ideas, but I ultimately came up with this one on my own. I was pretty proud of myself =)

The pictures below will further tell the tale of how I made this amateur-piece.

I started off with a canvas I found at a yard sale for $2 and the easel for $15 (still had tags on it and was originally $100!!!) That purchase alone saved me about $130!!!

 I painted the canvas using white acrylic craft paint (about $1). Two coats did the trick.


I then printed out eight (8) of our favorite pictures of us in different sizes that I wanted to incorporate into the project. I used scrapbook paper from Jo Ann Fabrics (on sale- 5 sheets for $1!) for a background for the photos. Supplies needed at this point: scrapbook paper sheets (I used 4 total), printer, regular printer paper (8 sheets), scissors, and a pencil.

 

I laid two of the scrapbook sheets on to one side of the canvas. Using the pencil, I did a freehand drawing of a half heart right onto the scrapbook sheets (sorry I don't have a pic of this) and cut. It was a little difficult because I was making one complete half of a heart with two scrapbook pieces (top and bottom) but once you mod podge later, it all comes together. I repeated the same process on the other side of the canvas but upside down. 

Next I cut the the photos and scattered them onto the half hearts to figure out where I wanted to place them.

Once I cut all of my scrap pieces and photos, I put them to the side. The center for my project is a chorus to a silly but cute love song I wrote for David awhile back when he was having a rough day at work. This little act of love made his day, so I knew I wanted to incorporate it. With a pencil first, I wrote out the lyrics for placement. Then with a tiny brush and black acrylic craft paint (about $1), I wrote over the pencil.

I let that COMPLETELY dry for about 30-40 minutes. Next I needed to mod podge my half hearts of scrapbook paper. I took a medium sized sponge brush and generously added a layer of mod podge (the matte finish - $5-$6 at most craft stores) onto the canvas. Immediately, I laid the scrapbook half heart pieces onto the mod podged side of the canvas. With an old paperback book, I smoothed out any little bubbles the mod podge might have created (not pictured, sorry). I probably smoothed out the entire half heart for 1 minute. I repeated the process on the other side of the canvas, upside down.

I then added another layer of mod podge right onto the half hearts and carefully placed the pictures where I wanted them. I did one side, smoothed the photos for a minute and then repeated on the other side with the other set of 4 pictures.

Once everything was placed and smoothed, I added one more layer of mod podge to the ENTIRE painting. Smoothed out everything with the book for about 2 minutes and let it dry.
....................

The photo below shows the final product. Still looks a little weird because the mod podge wasn't completely dry when I took the picture. It WILL DRY CLEAR. That's important to know. Its going to look funky at first.

If any of you are thinking about creating a project like this, I hope this blog post was helpful! I'm not very good at step by step instructions. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK!

Wednesday Walk: Pray for Wisdom

In I Kings 3, Solomon asks God for the wisdom to govern His people the way God wants him to. He asks for wisdom to be the best king God needs him to be. He doesn't ask for riches. He doesn't ask for a long life. He just wants to serve God the best way possible. In return, God gives him not only the wisdom he needs, but riches, fame, and a long and prosperous life.

Let me know if you feel the same as I do... I've always been told to ask God for wisdom but never truly understood what that meant until recently. I ask God for "signs". I ask God for specifics. I ask Him for direction, but not the wisdom to be able to live the life He intended for me. The wisdom to go out into this world and find my way. I ask for action. I ask for things I can SEE with my own eyes. I try to be patient, but patience frustrates me.

I'm going to practice this "praying for wisdom" thing. Grow a stronger relationship and understanding for God's true intention and direction. Not only with what He wants for me, but for all His children. I want the wisdom to know not only what I can do for myself but for my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Tuesday Talk: Out of Control

Look at the title of this post. Are you noticing a pattern? Ha. If it hasn't hit you yet, I write/think a lot about having control or who's IN control or having no control in our lives. Mostly because in my profession, I always feel everything is slightly out of my hands. I wonder what in fact I CAN alter. What are MY choices. What does God want me to do?

I learned a valuable lesson over the weekend. The best way to get a good grip on what life is all about starts with who you are.

I was in Dallas, TX for David's birthday. I wanted the whole weekend to be about him. I wanted out of my own head, out of my own life, but the one I have with him. His wonderful family and a friend helped throw a party for him and we had many other family/friend get-togethers throughout the 72 hour getaway. I'll admit, even though it was HIS birthday weekend, sometimes it was difficult for BOTH of us to let him have full rein. ;) If felt exhilarating to start focusing less on me and more on others and what I can do to make them happy. I've always felt that after I get my own life the way I want it, after I "fix" me, I can make everyone else happy in return. I can provide for them. I can REALLY be there for them. But waiting until tomorrow might be too late.

I need to be the woman God made me to be right NOW. I need to be the woman my family, friends, church and community need me to be. Even if I'm not everything I thought I'd be by this time in my life, I can have the kind of attitude and outlook that says, "I have it all and I want to share it all with you."